Early Man - Beware the Circling Fin ; A Band of Orcs - Warchiefs of the Apocalypse

Today I'm going to take a look at two pretty straightforward metal EPs. The first is "Beware the Circling Fin," the new release from Early Man.

I saw early man over the summer and they absolutely killed. I've been waiting for this EP ever since.

As far as Early Man is concerned, 1982 never ended. If you haven't heard them they kind of sound like almost any thrash band from that time period. Nostalgic acts can be a bit depressing for me, sometimes. They can look like a bunch of kids playing dress-up. "Hey look, mom! We're going as a classic rock (or crossover, or early punk, or 80s hardcore) band for halloween!" It's pretty hard to argue with Early Man, however. They shred, write tight songs, and do the whole thing with a sense of fun that never shades into irony. It's a thin line to walk when you're a nostalgic band between worship and irony. In the middle is a good time and a good listen. Early Man, for the most part, gets it right.

This EP doesn't disappoint either. The only real problem with it is that it's really got nothing on their full length. Overall, though, the songs are more of the same kind of thing they've already offered up- straight ahead thrash-metal songs with a real fist-pumping quality to them.

The backstory behind this band is that two of the members were raised in a strictly Pentecostal home and didn't hear rock music until they had left the house after they were 18. This is pitched as if they turned away from their upbringing, but I actually think metal and Pentecostalism have some strange common ground: they're both expressive, they both involve erratic body movements, they both involve making weird, guttural sounds with your voice, they both are concerned with evil and the end of days, and they both have a pretty strict moral code. I mean, I've seen footage of Black Sabbath in the 70s and anyone who can tell the qualitative difference between Ozzy writhing around and shrieking and someone speaking in tongues (besides the fringe on the shirt) is a better person than I. Metal is kind of like Pentecostalism minus God and the crazy behavioral restrictions. So I guess to me it makes sense that two kids who were raised speaking in tongues and waiting for the apocalypse would find a home in a noisy thrash band. I'm just glad I get to listen to the awesome records they put out.

Early Man tears it up in the future which is ruled by Bill and Ted in "Bogus Journey."

Where I got that shit

Early Man's Website

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Next up is the new EP from A Band of Orcs called "Warchiefs of the Apocalypse." This is a bit more of a death metal kind of thing, and has to be seen to be believed.

The band dresses like...

You know what?

Just watch:

Who's paying for that shit?

Also: what's the fucking plot? What's with the town and the King? And what's with the band's girlfriends clothing them in animal skins at the end. "Yeah sure, honey. You can be in the video. Do you own a pelt loincloth?"

So anyway, I feel the same way I feel about costumed novelty acts that I do about nostalgia acts. There's this fine line you have to walk between being having a stupid, pointless gimmick (Slipknot and Mushroomhead, anyone?) and getting so overwhelmed with the novelty that you just turn into a big circus who happens to play music (GWAR, anyone?).

The most important thin for any gimmicky band is to make sure that the music actually kicks ass, thereby justifying the silly costumes, or whatever. A Band of Orcs (unlike the above mentioned bands) actually tend to pull it off. As far as pretty middle of the road death metal goes, this is fairly likable. It balances melodic European death metal and crunchier American death metal pretty well, and the songs tend to have pretty good hooks which keep me interested.

On top of that, if you're going to have a gimmick, dressing like a bunch of orcs and writing songs about laying waste to humankind is a pretty fucking good one.

The other day my friend Brendan and I were having a conversation about whether or not metal bands' vocalists were trying to, in effect, sound like monsters. I had never thought about it, but he pointed out that the seeming logic of the cookie monster voice is to sound like what we all imagine a demon would sound like. I couldn't stop thinking about that as I watched the video I put up there. I mean, when the singer of a metal band is dressed like an actual monster the vocals suddenly make sense.

Who would have thought?

Having said that, an orc doing a guitar solo is one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen.

So overall, I would definitely recommend this record. Sure it's gimmicky, but the music justifies its existence if you're into this sort of thing. Besides, that video is pretty awesome. But I have to ask again: who the fuck is paying for that shit? Does someone have a rich uncle?

Maybe they're ACTUAL ORCS and they pay for their ridiculously expensive looking video with ACTUAL PLUNDER. Hmmm. That would explain a lot.

A Band of Orcs' Website, which you REALLY need to see. Trust me.

I should also point out that I totally had an idea to start a role-playing game themed metal band called "Natural 20" a while ago. Fuckers out did me.